Don't call me super mum!

I'm a mum to three, and one of my children has extra needs of a medical nature that makes me an official full time carer. Yes this statement is true but please don't call me super mum!

I've been called a super mum by a few people and even by some staff at the Royal Children's Hospital (RCH) including some of the social workers but I cringe every time I hear it. Yes I know I do a little bit more than the average parent for my child because he has Cystic Fibrosis but I don't do it because I want to I do it because I have to.

* If I don't do Cadel's enzymes he won't absorb his food and won't get the much needed nutrients from his food to grow big and strong and to fight off infection.

*If I don't give him his physio sessions he can't move the thick sticky mucous that clogs up his lungs and infections will set in.

*If I don't give him his daily nebulised medicine it won't help to break down the mucous.

* If I don't give him his liver medication his liver disease may progress sooner and need a liver transplant.

*If I don't give him his vitamins he may get brittle bones from not getting something as simple as enough vitamin D.

*If I don't give him his antibiotics a simple virus may attack his low immune system.

*If I don't give him his tube feeds during the day he won't get enough calories that his body needs just to be a normal 2 year old.

So as you can see I do it because I need to not for want.

I'm an organised person who loves lists and routine. I again need to be. With two older children at school and extra curricular activities I need to organised and have dinner made by ten in the morning so that I can get to dancing or taekwondo or even clinic for Cadel to have a check up. This is just so that there is some normalcy in our families life. Hubby and I strive to make life as normal as possible for the kids because it shouldn't be normal to spend over a 1/3 of a year staying in a hospital or visting your mum and brother in a hospital. Or helping by holding down your little brother's legs while Mum reinserts a misplaced nasogastric tube. ( a memory of Xavier I will never erase from my mind, he is 4 years old silently enters the room sees me struggling and just kneels down and helps, breaks my heart but also warms it that he is so caring and helpful). Normal should be going to school, doing dancing and taekwondo and playing in a park and not worrying about catching the mucous your little brother is coughing up because you are closer as mum dives for the cloth nappy and races over. ( Lorelei is notorious for this.) So to have some normalcy I need to make lots of lists and be prepared for it all. This is when people usually see my extreme organisation and comment "oh aren't you the super mum!"

I have to also give a massive shout out to my support system which has stepped up into overdrive in the last 8 months or so. Hubby has always been a great support and helps out with all of Cadel's and the older kids needs also but there have been a few friends who have really stepped up without us asking by looking after the kids, cooking meals, asking how we are all REALLY doing, put smiles on our faces and just being there to listen. So I have a lot of people behind the scenes helping to make me look better and look like I have it all together a bit more then I actually do.

So when someone pulls out the super mum tag I cringe because I feel it puts so much pressure on me. Yes you may have said it as a compliment and truly no malice whatsoever but I feel deep down inside there is a guttural scream of "NO" as I then think I can't fail now I have to always be on my game. I sometimes put on a brave face when I feel like my world is crumbling down around me. Those closest to me have learnt to see through the fake smiles, I do this as most people do because I don't want to look like a failure because sometimes you feel there are certain expectations on you. These expectations are probably put on by ourselves and society in general, we have to have it all together and be ready to take on more. Somedays this just isn't the case and I drop all the balls where as other days I'm amazed at my own juggling skills.

So just don't call me super mum, I'm just doing what any parent would do for their child to keep them well and somedays I have really bad days too but smile to hide the destruction of my day. Oh and don't get me started on the whole " oh I don't know how you do it, you are so strong! "

K