Sticks and Stones

"Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me."

This children's rhyme has a deep meaning for me this week. After watching another story on bullying I realised that sometimes we forget words can hurt! They can hurt a lot actually. 

I was bullied in primary school, year 6 was probably the worst and I was almost moved schools because my parents could see how much it was affecting me. 

I was lucky though, lucky that I didn't live in the world of fast paced technology that we live in today. Bullying never stops now, with Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites the bullying continues and follows you home. Keyboard warriors  forget that even though they sit behind a computer or phone screen that the words the type are hurting someone and that there is a real person on the other side of their viciousness. 

As a parent I fear for my children everyday that they will be a victim of bullying. I'm even more fearful that they will be a bully. I would be so devastated to learn that my child had made another child feel less valued to the community then they are. 

One way in which I'm trying to be a good example to my children is to not use certain words in every day language.  A couple of years ago I decided to make a list of words I don't think we should use and put them up for everyone to see. 

The list consisted of words that I think are not nice words and that are words that are used to harm others and thrown around too flippantly today. I also think that they are words that I think are lazy, I think my kids are better than that and need to really think about all the words they use as sometimes words can be sharper then knives. 

Some examples of my words on the list are: 

FAT. This is a word that I really dislike, I think when used to describe someone it is a vicious word and I have been on the pointy end of this word. My kids don't hear this word used in a negative way to describe anyone and I still remember poor Lorelei bringing home a reader in Prep and it was about five fat fish, she was reading it, came to the word stopped and looked at me like she didn't know if she should say it. I explained that it's okay in the reader but we need to choose our words carefully and we shouldn't use words in a bad way. 

HATE. Hate is such a strong word and I don't think should be used lightly. There are many other words that can be used instead. 

STUPID. I know it sounds strange but again it's a very strong word that can cut to the bone and words like silly can be used instead and doesnt have the power that stupid does. 

That's my point I think, is that some words have a lot of power and can harm , so using different words that have the same meaning but less impact can teach my kids that words can really hurt, sometimes more then sticks and stones. 

They also learn that words can make someone feel very good and special so we teach them to compliment people and to say thank you and make people feel appreciated. 

K