Counting my blessings.

My day has been a really shitty one! You know the ones where nothing seems to go in your favour. 

It all started in the shower when trying to shave my armpits the razor was blunt, it made me angry. Then my deodorant ran out, this made me mad,  my breakfast wasn't one of my favs but I ate it anyway, thinking about what I would really like to be eating and it made me mad.  ( I'm doing a 12 week program of planned out food and diet). I had dramas parking my car in the school car park this morning and it made me angry. My newish car got a little ding in it, completely not my fault (honestly I had nothing to do with it) I got angry. You can see where I am going with this. To top it all off Cadel's feeding tube became blocked and I had to remove it completely to unblock it. ( this involves removing the whole thing from his tiny little belly and leaving a gaping, stomach content leaking hole while I unblock it. Stomach juices don't phase me anymore obviously but sorry if you are reading while eating!) Then I had to reinsert the bugger, it had only been out for a few minutes and poor munchkin was asleep so it needed a little force. Have to say that in this moment I am not a Mum, I'm a carer.  A mum could never do it as she sees pain cross the face of sleeping child as she pushes a plastic tube into a surgically made hole in the front of a tiny stomach. As a carer it's something I've done several times and will probably do again in the future. Needless to say it was not how I wanted to end my Monday night and it made me really angry and wish the day was done. 

That was until I was having a shower preparing for bed ( why do all the moments of clarity strike you in the shower, a blog for another time perhaps) that I thought oh the day is almost done. I then thought why am I thinking this way. I get to kiss all my children goodnight as I do my last laps of the hallways checking all the obstacles for late night dashes to screaming children are packed up, I get to kiss my husband goodnight as he sleeps beside me, stumbling in after falling asleep on the couch and checking on the kids too. 

I am lucky. We are lucky. Things could of been very different for our family right now if the Drs predictions were right. They didn't think Cadel would be here with us right now. He is though. He is living proof to never give up and to never take any day, shitty, mediocre or good for granted. I am lucky and tonight as I close my eyes and nod off to sleep (after I've cleared out all these thoughts into a blog) I'll remind my self to count my blessings as I am lucky to be able to say that small things made my day shitty and that one big thing hasn't destroyed me or my family. 

Good night, sweet dreams and hope you all count your blessings too. 

K

Sticks and Stones

"Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me."

This children's rhyme has a deep meaning for me this week. After watching another story on bullying I realised that sometimes we forget words can hurt! They can hurt a lot actually. 

I was bullied in primary school, year 6 was probably the worst and I was almost moved schools because my parents could see how much it was affecting me. 

I was lucky though, lucky that I didn't live in the world of fast paced technology that we live in today. Bullying never stops now, with Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites the bullying continues and follows you home. Keyboard warriors  forget that even though they sit behind a computer or phone screen that the words the type are hurting someone and that there is a real person on the other side of their viciousness. 

As a parent I fear for my children everyday that they will be a victim of bullying. I'm even more fearful that they will be a bully. I would be so devastated to learn that my child had made another child feel less valued to the community then they are. 

One way in which I'm trying to be a good example to my children is to not use certain words in every day language.  A couple of years ago I decided to make a list of words I don't think we should use and put them up for everyone to see. 

The list consisted of words that I think are not nice words and that are words that are used to harm others and thrown around too flippantly today. I also think that they are words that I think are lazy, I think my kids are better than that and need to really think about all the words they use as sometimes words can be sharper then knives. 

Some examples of my words on the list are: 

FAT. This is a word that I really dislike, I think when used to describe someone it is a vicious word and I have been on the pointy end of this word. My kids don't hear this word used in a negative way to describe anyone and I still remember poor Lorelei bringing home a reader in Prep and it was about five fat fish, she was reading it, came to the word stopped and looked at me like she didn't know if she should say it. I explained that it's okay in the reader but we need to choose our words carefully and we shouldn't use words in a bad way. 

HATE. Hate is such a strong word and I don't think should be used lightly. There are many other words that can be used instead. 

STUPID. I know it sounds strange but again it's a very strong word that can cut to the bone and words like silly can be used instead and doesnt have the power that stupid does. 

That's my point I think, is that some words have a lot of power and can harm , so using different words that have the same meaning but less impact can teach my kids that words can really hurt, sometimes more then sticks and stones. 

They also learn that words can make someone feel very good and special so we teach them to compliment people and to say thank you and make people feel appreciated. 

K