My wish for you....

As I sit waiting for my princess to do her Jazz and Ballet classes for the next two hours I think about how hard it is for girls to grow up these days. It has always been hard but I think society has made it even harder. So there are a few things that I wish I had of known when growing up and I thought I would share what I wish for my little chicken! 

****WARNING this blog will be full of positivity and lots of inspiring affirmations! *****

My wishes for you my chicken little:

❤ Always be yourself. Don't change who you are to fit in or make someone like you. If they don't like you for you or take you the way you are they aren't worth your time. 

❤ Appreciate your brothers. They are the ones that will always be there for you and stick up for you. You may need to look after them sometimes too! 

❤ Be kind to yourself. Don't get sucked into what the magazines say you should look like. Women are all different shapes and sizes and no one is perfect. Even models have something they don't like about themselves. Some people are tall some are short, some women have bigger breasts and some smaller. Love the body you got as its the only one you have. Also know that beauty comes from within and shines outside. 

❤ Be your own person. Like what you like and what you don't like. We are all different and if we all liked the same things it would be a very boring world. Don't give in to the pressures to do something just because someone else has the idea that doing that it can be cool or good for them. Make your decisions wisely and with much care. 

❤ Create your own path. Don't follow in the footsteps of others. Nothing good ever comes easily. If you work hard at something you can look back and be proud that you have achieved something special and know that you gave it your all and that no one else did it for you. 

❤ You are awesome. You are smart. You are beautiful. You are kind. You are unique. Have great self esteem and don't let anyone or anything strip it away. But don't be too proud to admit that you are only human. You can be strong but humble. 

❤ Don't be too proud to admit when you have made mistakes. Mistakes mean that you have tried and are living. Learn from your mistakes though and move on. Don't over analyse moments in time that can't be changed or taken back. 

❤ Girls can be nasty and cruel creatures if they want to be.  Don't be a 'mean' girl. Stay clear of these types of people in general. Surround yourself with positive people. 

❤ Choose your battles. Sometimes it's best to let the little things slide. Fight for the big things and be strong about what you believe in. 

❤ Boys, where do I begin! Some will become great friends others will float in and out of your life. The really special ones will love you for you and build you up and never tear you down. Love isn't all Fairytales and Prince Charming but, you will find your soulmate, maybe when you least expect it!  

❤ Be kind to your parents! When you become a parent yourself you will know how much we did, do and have done for you. 

❤ Be kind to everyone you meet as everyone has their own struggles and battles to deal with. 

❤ Be compassionate and treat others how you would want to be treated. 

❤ Smile, be you and love will shine from you and be returned to you! 

K

"Let me be, Mum"

So sometimes it's easy to forget that Cadel is also an ordinary 2 year old as well as a two year with chronic lung disease, liver disease and sufferers from CF. 

Last week I had a few reminders! 

Cadel had a massive tantrum. It wasn't about anything in particular but it was a terrible two tantrum because he didn't want to have a sleep. He was so, so tired and was just fighting it so much. I was holding him as he squirmed and squealed at me for the half hour that it took for him to calm down. I kept reminding myself this is normal, this is normal and then it came to me, I'm not holding him down fighting with him as they needle his port or take some blood instead I'm just dealing with 'normal' two year old behaviour (if there is such a thing as normal two year old behaviour) and I smiled. I know strange that I'm smiling as my nerves are frayed by the screaming and squirming but I was happy in the fact that Cadel was able to be a two year old for once. 

The same week Cadel was having some bad dreams ( probably explained the above tiredness) and just wanted Mum to sleep in his bed to know that I was there. Again I was grumpy that I was having interrupted sleep but then reminded that I wasn't getting up to an alarm on his high flow oxygen machine or because his overnight tube feed machine  was alarming. I was getting up to my son who just wanted his Mum. It's nice to have those moments. To be a Mum and I know that as a parent we all take on many roles but it feels so great to be Cadel's Mum and not Cadel's carer. 

Another moment was letting Cadel play in the park with his friends and brother and sister. It was fantastic and heart warming to see him playing without a care. I can't say that it was the same for me in this instance. It was a park that was covered in sand. 

I was panicking on the inside about any bugs that could be hiding in the sand that any other parent wouldn't have to worry about. Resting assured that I was probably just being over cautious. 

I was panicking about the bugs or viruses left behind on the rails of the stairs as he climbed the stairs for the slide. Reminding myself that I had hand sanitizer to wash his hands when he had finished playing. 

I was panicking about the sand that was now everywhere and now making its way into the area around his button. Upon inspection I found the sand had made its way into the delicate area around his button but I decided it was bath time when we got home to make sure it wouldn't cause any complications. 

On the outside I was smiling and enjoying the park play but inside I was screaming with anxiety. It's a battle to control that screaming and anxiety and keep it on the inside but it is important to do that so that Cadel can be a two year old and not always be a sick two year old. He needs to enjoy the small things as so do we as we watch with so much delight as he discovers all the goodness that this wonderful world has and not just the terrible sterile hospital environments. 

It's also important for his big sister and brother to see him play and have those memories and not just have memories of treatments and seeing Cadel unwell. 

Once more I found myself letting go a little bit more of those little anxiety demons but know as any parent knows you will always worry for your child regardless if they are well or unwell and knowing to learn what I can and can't control is the biggest lesson I could I ever take from all that life has thrown at us. 

K