Today has broken me.
It started well, usual hospital routine stuff. Seeing Drs and having treatments and medications etc.
Cadel had a dental appointment booked months ago for the hospital here today so we went along. Cadel has issues with anyone touching his mouth etc and won't let us brush his teeth and previous appointments with the Dentist have never gone well. Basically the dentist had to force open his mouth. There were tears and even screaming. It's hard to watch and try and convince him it's all ok.
Then the Dentist said he could have a Star Wars Sticker. Well Cadel couldn't decide on one and wanted 4 so the tears started and we ended up leaving with a yoyo! That wasn't good enough and Cadel wanted to go back and started hitting me and having a complete meltdown. I held it together, just.
When he got back to his room he let me have it. Full complete meltdown, tears, screaming, punching and kicking me. I stepped out to take a breath.
This is only half the day, there is still more treatments and medications to go. The worst is still to come today when he has to have the dressing taken down and the needle in his port-a-cath changed. That is always a trauma for him.
It never ever gets easier to see your child in pain or just over it! He is coming to an age where he realises, this is what will be the rest of his life. Daily treatments and medications.
I know we try and stay positive and show positive things but days like today are super tough and happen a lot but we don't let you know the nitty gritty daily struggles. But maybe we should, so you know that if we are having a bad day and seem out of sorts this may be why we seem a bit off but still have a smile on our face, trying to hold it all together.
K
***kept this to post later***
From February
